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Archive for the ‘Observations’ Category

Holy Spirit

I see you there

Mist over the water

Waiting watching

In one breath

You become fire

Burning consuming

Not destroying

But making alive

Hiding God Himself.

Then you leave

Soaring over calm waters

Into the skies

So brilliant in their intensity

You disappear in the sun’s rays

Always leaving something of yourself behind.

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One day

Just take one day at a time for that is how I planned it.

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I am with you. Look at the streets of New York. They are not so bad. Brimming with life and colour. As is London. See Tokyo. Busy, yes. But even there I am working. You will find me in Paris, Edinburgh, Johannesburg…

Don’t be afraid. I will send you a friend. You will meet in unexpected circumstances. Stay close to him. He will comfort you. He will love you. Do not deny him for I love him and have given him great depth; even if it is not obvious. He will walk you through this life.

Bring hope. Bring life. Bring beauty. For you are these things. Take me with you and show me to the world with your unique perspective.

Do not be anxious, for I will teach you.

Now fly!

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Teach Me to Fly

I am on the edge of a cliff, looking out over a vast landscape of cities. Cities squashed together. It is early evening and the cities are sparkling with lights. I am really high up and standing on the very edge. I don’t want to go down. I like it up here. Closer to GOD. Closer to the skies. Closer to the heavens. Up here is freedom.

The wind blows on my face and I open my arms wide.

I know GOD wants me to go down there. I don’t want to. It is dirty. There is evil. I will get sucked in. I don’t know how to survive.

How can I stay pure and true to you in a place like that? Please don’t make me go.

But GOD said go!

And I flew down.

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2017

2017 is almost upon us. My first thought for next year is to¬†“be prepared”. Our old Brownie motto. More than ever do I realise its importance in life. Next year I want to be prepared.

I also want to have little tea gatherings for some of the mommies and kids. That is a first. So that I can make friends and Ewan can be a friend.

I turned 40 this year and did nothing except have a meal with immediate family. I realised it slipped by without so much as a balloon or birthday cake. I realise also that that made me sad. I have been learning about sowing and reaping. I am not sowing into the friendship thing therefore not reaping either. I need to start sowing in this area.

2017 is a year of sowing. The fruit may only come later.

I will create gifts for birthdays and I will have little tea gatherings. Maybe even craft parties. This all requires thought and preparation. I will use my diary and do things early.

Lord, you know my heart more than me. You know my need for friendship in a place that is not my home, where even the seasons are different and life starts earlier. Father, I commit to you once again my life, my thoughts, my dreams and my prayers. Guide me in being a blessing to others and to use my gifts and talents as I need. I pray for a bigger capacity to do all that I need to do and I pray for a radical change in our financial situation. In Jesus’ name I pray these things.

 

 

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I felt broken today. It is the year end and I am tired.

I heard a couple of mothers at school saying they would see each other tomorrow and then quickly trying to hide the fact from me. I know that there is another child’s birthday party tomorrow and Ewan has not been invited. I know also that Ewan did not have a party this year because his Nanna was in ICU and it didn’t seem right. I know that I wanted more than anything to have a party for Ewan. But this party thing has got my heart all knotted up. More than anything I want to give to the other parents and kids as they have given to us – a nice party for their kids and therefore our kids.

Ewan deserves a party. He has been so good. He has enjoyed WHPS and his friends.

But we are having a party for Skye, and Ewan is inviting a few of his friends. At least.

Lord, remind me what is important in raising our children. Please clarify each day what is right and good. Give me a teachable heart. Let me hear your voice in all the chaos. I pray for a natural flow of your heart in all that I do. In Jesus’ Name I pray.

 

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A Mother’s Heart

More than anything else, being a mother has caused my heart to be completely broken and re-healed. Being a mother has taught me sacrifice, love, pain and given me a fighting spirit. Not to say that there are days when I feel I can no longer go on.

I believe that God has given us children in order to develop our character – if we allow Him. I would not recommend having children if you are not prepared for this.

I love my children so much. But having a heart and soul as sensitive as mine means that I am in for a rough time should anyone do or say anything that will hurt my kids. In fact, it may not even hurt my kids but it will hurt me.

I pray more than anything that Ewan and Skye are steadfast in spirit. That through thick and thin they can stand strong and not be swayed by the world’s standards of living. I pray that they are so rooted in love that their fruit is likewise.

Lord, help me in parenthood. Guide my thoughts and life. Give me a very firm place to stand. I pray for a home rooted and established in you. May my life reflect your glory to live it out as best I can to reach the generations to come; starting with Ewan and Skye. In Jesus’ name I pray.

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